Dear Human

This has to be the longest vacation that you have ever taken. And why aren't you actually packing a bag and going somewhere? Every day we get up and I think this is the day that you are going to drop me at the pet Resort or call that Pet Sitter. I am now officially confused and I am starting to wonder if I should call someone. Turns out I have talked to other dogs in the neighborhood and I found out we are all going through the same thing. So .......

If this behavior is going to continue we need to set some ground rules:

1. Walks: One walk a day, like when you were busy working will be fine. The idea that we go for walks more than once and day every day has got to stop. Also, the length of those walks has gotten crazy. I am beginning to think we are in training for a marathon of some sort. Which brings me to my next request. Take me for a long walk once a day then you can do the second walk alone. Why you ask? Well, that is rule 2.

2. Naps: These should happen more often and if you can't handle that then you need to go for more walks so I can nap. Napping was a large part of my day before you were staying home.

3. TV: If you are going to have it on all day then at least watch it. Turning it on and leaving the room leaves me stuck watching game shows and news updates. May I suggest we start the day watching Animal Planet so I can watch a show I enjoy when you have wandered off to do something and forget to come back to the TV. Game shows get boring quickly.

4. Snacks: Why is it that you are now up to 3 meals and 6 snacks a day but I seem to still be receiving the same amount of treats. All snacks should be something that I can also enjoy and I should be entitled to my share. You snack, I snack. Simple.

5. Drinks: Now that we have added Wine and Beer o'clock to the daily schedule we need to add another busy bone break to my day. This also includes those now regular Zoom Virtual Happy Hours. If you are going to get lost for the night drinking and talking to your friends on the computer the least you can do is set it up for me to have something to do.

Finally, I realize this is a stressful time for you or why else would you be constantly hugging on me. Which by the way is awesome, but don't wake me up from a nap to do it. We are together 24/7 there is plenty of time for snuggles.

I am not sure how long we will be in this together. It could be great if it was forever but we know eventually you will go back to leaving the house. It will be easier for both of us if we can stick to a few of the old routines or at least adopt a few of the rules from above.

Your Dog

Listen to Paty Quyn weekday afternoons from 3PM to 7PM on The Wolf. Stream us live through the website, Alexa-enabled device, Google Home or The Wolf mobile app.

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