Can You Help This Mom?
Do you have any advice for this mom?
Every Wednesday on the Wakin' Up with CJ and Jess Show we turn the show in to a little therapy session we call "We Gotcha Wednesday." We get all kinds of emails from Wolf listeners looking for advice or help with something going on in their life.
Today's email is a tough one from a mom looking for some guidance...
CJ and Jess, I got pregnant with my daughter when I was 25. Her biological father and I had broken up. I found out I was pregnant shortly after. He wasn't around for the entire pregnancy or the rest of her life until she turned 8 and suddenly wanted visitation rights. When I offered to drop all the back child support payments, he signed away his rights.
I met a new man when my daughter was a baby, got married and he has raised her as his own. She thinks he is her biological dad.
She does see her biological dad's family. We call them by all the proper titles...Grammy, pop pop, aunt, uncle, cousin. But she also has all of those on both my husband and my side. She has never asked any questions. I have never lied to her and never would. She just hasn't asked the RIGHT questions.
So, here we are and she is now almost 17. We never told her about any of it. The adoption. The bio dad. The fact that all it took was money and he threw her away.
I'm most concerned bc she will 18 next summer. He can legally contact her at anytime then and bust our bubble. He may do it he may not.
She is the light of my life and if I lost her I'd die. I feel like no matter what I do, I can't win. She's going to hurt either way. I almost feel like it's worth the risk of never telling her and hope he doesn't Try to contact her. Why hurt her if we don't have to.
I am open thoughts and options but please don't judge.
This is really a tough spot to be in. If you were in a situation like this how would you handle it?
I think that the mom should have the conversation with her daughter as soon as possible because I feel that hearing it from mom would be a lot easier for the daughter then her hearing it from a stranger and like Jess said on the air, with all the DNA test things that are available today, she will find out at some point.
What do you guys think? Call the show at 845-473-9431 or leave us a comment on Facebook.