So I know I'm not the only person who has fallen victim to something like this but recently I found myself in quite a predicament. What happened? Well to put it simply, I fell down a rabbit hole. No, not an actual rabbit hole, it's metaphorical but the point remains, I found myself scrolling through what seemed like endless lists of some of the most ridiculous, moronic, asinine and just plain STUPID laws that exist in the state of New York.

Pattanaphong Khuankaew
Pattanaphong Khuankaew

These lists and these laws were so unbelievably baffling just to help cope with the amount of stupidity I consumed, I kind of need to spread the stupid. So here are a handful of the dumbest laws that apparently exist in New York.

WZAD-WCZX The Wolf logo
Get our free mobile app

Ridiculous New York Law Number 5

I'd say we're starting this list with a doozy but quite frankly they all are. Our first entrant on the list tonight is...

It is illegal to sell dog or cat hair

Pets Alive
Photo by Krista Mangulsone on Unsplash

Yes, this is an actual law apparently, because the first thing that comes to mind when anyone picks up their dog from the groomer or their cat hacks up a hairball is 'Yeah, let me get that'.

I can't imagine how this became a law. Did local police just go through a run of arresting people like 'oo yeah we got a bunch for possession today? Every one of 'em, bags of pet fur. Blonde, black, brown, multi-color, we got it all'.

Ridiculous New York Law Number 4

Here's an old school for everyone. I've never actually seen this one in person but I've seen it in plenty of old TV shows and cartoons; apparently, it is illegal to...

Place wet clothes on a clothesline to dry

China Moves Towards An Older Society
Getty Images

Well actually, this one is partially against the law. Apparently, you need to obtain a license in order to not be breaking the law on this one. You know what, I'd like one of these licenses for myself, not to dry clothes though. See I'd like this license to show to cop if I get pulled over in the future. Maybe this would be so dumb, I get out of the ticket or maybe it's so dumb I end up in handcuffs. I guess it'll depend on the cop, I'll keep everyone posted.

Ridiculous New York Law Number 3

Here's another one and it doesn't matter how many times I've read it, I'm still flabbergasted by it...

When attending a concert, it is illegal to eat peanuts while walking backwards on the sidewalk

Mixed nuts

There are soooo many questions to ask about this one, but I'm almost afraid of what the answers would be.


Ridiculous New York Law Number 2

It's around this point where just about everyone should be questioning whether or not stupidity is contagious. The next entrant is...

Under no circumstances are you allowed to chop up a person's tongue


Cause you know that's just something that...needed... to be...written down.

Side note, you are allowed to do this if you are a doctor and or dentist. That shouldn't have to be said but apparently, for one reason or another, it does.

Female medicine doctor hands holding toy heart
Getty Images/iStockphoto

Check This Out: State Police Say Orange County Man Arrested For DWI Twice in 3 Hours

Ridiculous New York Law Number 1

It's precisely around this point, one could assume within a reasonable amount of doubt that the answer to the previous question is 'yes, stupidity is contagious'.

It's also around this point that one should probably start asking themselves 'how much time does humanity really have left'?

The most ridiculous law on this list is...

No one is allowed to pee on pigeons in the park

Urban pigeons closeup

Well based on this last entrant, the answer to that question is probably 'not much'.

Actually, on second thought this might actually be a reasonable law. Everyone knows you can see some crazy things in New York. Just one day you decide to go the park, hang out with family and enjoy the day, everything's great. Next thing you know 'Little Jimmy' is crying, Mom and Dad are calling the cops, PETA is holding a rally and Hobo Hank is once again sobering up in the local jail.


Well that's the list. Now please excuse me while I go take an Advil and contemplate the meaning of life.

5 Cheeseburger Facts to Make EveryDay Cheeseburger Day

10 Small Cites in New York Ranked Worst to Best to Start a Business

15 Best Music Venues in New York State

We asked, and you answered. These are the Top 15 Music Venues in New York as voted by you, the New Yorker.

More From WZAD-WCZX The Wolf