OOPS: That Time I Tried To Use My Own Reported Lost Debit Card

Sometimes I wonder how I even make it through a day, like who allowed me to be an adult, and also thought I should responsible for another human being?

TLDR version - I 'lost' my debit card and license over the weekend, cancelled the debit card, then found it, forgot I cancelled it, and tried to use it.

The longer (and funnier) story - we had a Halloween event over the weekend at Mahoney's with the radio station.  I met up with a friend earlier than the event to grab dinner, decked out in my cat costume.  I decided that my usual bag didn't match my attire so I tossed my debit card, license, car key and some cash into a small clutch to use for the night.

I never even opened my bag, as my friend treated for dinner (thanks, Lynn!), and I ended up tossing it into one of the bins we were using to transport equipment and prizes while the event was going on.  The night ended, I grabbed the bag, got in my car and drove home.

Fast forward to the next morning, when I was running some errands and opened the bag to find my car key fob, the cash, but no ID or debit card - crap.

I called Mahoney's and it was a no-go there, they informed me it wasn't in 'their pile' - this made me feel less embarrassed for having to call and ask if I had left my cards there (sober!).  I backtracked a bunch, checked parking lots, the car, my garage, ripped my house apart, and after I got a lecture from my dad about being irresponsible, contacted my bank and reported the debit card lost.

Monday when I got into the radio station before starting my show it hit me, maybe my bag opened in the equipment or prize bin.  I ran into the promotions office, and sitting there next to beer koozies, bumper stickers and pens, like a pot of gold at the end of a rainbow, were my cards.  The words I used in the pep-talk I had with myself at that moment are not safe for this platform.

Hours later as I was heading home, I ran to the grocery store to grab a few things, swiped my card to pay, and the cashier looked over at me with a concerned look - "this card has been reported lost or stolen..." OH MY GOD, I REPORTED IT STOLEN AND TRIED TO USE IT.  She looked at me like I was crazy, and then I went on to tell this poor woman the entire story of what I did.

She was less than impressed.  I showed her my ID and reassured her that I was the fool who reported my card lost/stolen (because I lost it) and then tried to use it.  I paid with a credit card and now I can never show my face in that particular store again.

Needless to say, I feel like I narrowly avoided her calling the cops on me for this idiotic move, and now I'm left with the remains of my shredded debit card and the task of changing all of the accounts and bills I use that card with as I await the replacement.

Again, I ask, who let me adult?