An Open Letter to the Guy on the Red Motorcycle in Poughkeepsie

Dear Reckless Guy on the Red Motorcycle in my Poughkeepsie Neighborhood,

Hey, how ya doin'? Nice bike. Sparkling red, and it’s obvious that you like to show it off to all the folks in the neighborhood. But, do you think you could do it a little more safely? 

I mean, must you ride up and down the street for 20 minutes speeding, ignoring stop signs, and braking so hard that you fishtail? All hours of the day and night. And even though you drive a lot slower when you’re riding on the SIDEWALK, you know it’s illegal to ride on the sidewalk at all, right? And the fact that you’re not wearing a helmet and that you have a TODDLER on your gas tank while you’re illegally riding on the sidewalk may explain why you go slower. The toddler may think it’s fun, but do you realize that this behavior is dangerous? That’s probably why it isn’t legal. 

And can we talk about how loud your motorcycle is? I’m pretty sure it didn’t come that way when you bought it. Yup, you definitely have altered it in some way to make it that loud. You may think it makes you look and sound cool, but everyone around here actually thinks you're obnoxious. Yes, it’s true, we talk about you behind your back. And it’s never nice. Sorry. 

If you don’t want to endear yourself to your neighbors, that’s fine. If you want to continue to break the law, I guess that’s your business. But, at least think about that little toddler. Please, please stop driving your motorcycle with that little one on the gas tank. And by the way, if you decide to move anytime in the near future, nobody will try to talk you out of it.

Signed, A concerned and pissed off neighbor.